Ruby Rose? More like Maura Rosé!

You know what’s deplorable? My genuine inability to remember the difference between Amber Rose and Ruby Rose. Like, up until this moment when I did some internet research (after having a second thought about this title), I thought that Amber Rose was the striking accented beauty that straight white girls would “go gay for” when she appeared in Orange is the New Black. I know–please stop, Lynn. Please get your act together. A quick Google slapped me in the face with the info that Amber Rose is in actuality a 5’9″ American model and actress (you know her from the racist/misogynistic people who don’t want her to be comfortable with her body).

Try to learn from my mistakes and figure this one out on your own. This is all to say that Brynne isn’t the only gal cookin’ up meals after we’ve gone separate ways! Although I was encouraged to make this meal (instead of eating another bowl of Honey Bunches) by my dearest mama, the titular lady Maura. We decided that we were going to have a gals night in consisting of a game of Quiddler (I won), a bottle of pink drink, a homemade dish, and 60 Minutes (Unfortunately, it was a re-run, so we ended up watching an episode of GLOW instead. Maura didn’t love it [Brynne’s note: Does Ellie know????!!!]). For the homemade portion of our evening, we decided to make Curried Lentils with Coconut Milk!

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“I don’t know how it’ll look in a picture, but the taste is good!” -Maura

We started out with the chopping–Maura chopped an onion because of my sensitive eyes, and I used a fancy mincing tool to mince 2 cloves of garlic (note that my fingers still ended up smelling like garlic) and a tablespoon of fresh ginger. We then used a fancy crock pot (thanks, mom!) to sizzle these babies around with some spices–turmeric, coriander, and cumin–for ten minutes until the spices “were very aromatic.” I will note here that I obviously did not set a timer for ten minutes, as is my way, and when my mom asked how long we should let our spices & veggies simmer, she was incredibly disappointed in my Oscar-like behavior. But guess what? This girl’s nose twitched up a storm and she knew when it was time to add the lentils, etc!

The recipe calls for split red lentils, but we only had brown lentils (#galsonabudget), so we used those in combination with a carton of coconut milk (poured in, then filled with water to be poured in) and 1 tsp of salt because Maura had already put in a tsp salt earlier. That’s just the way she does things. Then we turned the heat to high and waited for that baby to boil, boil, toil, and trouble, bitches! When it did, we noticed that there was like a lot of liquid in there, but not to worry! The recipe assured us that it would cook down. Duh. 20 minutes, some stirring, and 1 game of Quiddler later, we were ready to slather our lentils on top of some rice (we used brown, but jasmine would’ve been better), pop a store-bought piece of naan in the toaster (sacrilegious behavior), and enjoy our ladies meal and wrestling (not really) show!

We loved it! Maura suggested that because we used brown lentils, they were a little tougher and needed a bit longer to cook, but we thought it was fun that they gave a little crunch. We also decided that next time, we would include another veggie, like a carrot or cauliflower. It was so yum though–and I’m not just saying that because in the moment I was high on the glory of my card game win! I just had another bowl for lunch and it was still delicious and ginger-y! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see how Brynne’s going to top this one!

Brynne’s note: Jus

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Goodbye Tour USA

Have you read Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood? Because wow, the Lynn and Brynne from our first post about intercoursing squirrels have essentially transported through time to get to this moment, our final meal crafted together (for the time being). I’m now having second thoughts about this time thread being from Cat’s Eye. Shoot. You know what we’re talking about though, right? It’s like all the time in between didn’t even exist–all we have to remember it by are pictures of our dumb faces shoveling malts and certain intense associations with the song “Ticket to Ride” by The Beatles.

 

We had a ticket to ride on Wednesday night. A ticket to ride all the way to Italy with our Kale Pesto Pizza. [Brynne’s note: insert a 5 second pause before saying the following] Beep beep beep beep, nuh-yeah! If you follow that hyperlink (does anyone? you all are basing your summer meal plans off of ours like in Julie & Julia, right?), you’ll note that this particular meal is advertised as being vegan and gluten free. Would’ve been a super interesting recipe to make, but these ladies don’t own a vegetable spiralizer (and couldn’t find one at Cub [Lynn’s note: @brynnec my local grocer, Fry’s Food & Drug, would definitely carry vegetable spiralizers, so what do you think of your precious Cub now? You still love it? Oh, okay.]) and didn’t want to spend money anyway #galsonabudget, so we instead made this a non-vegan, gluten-full pizza and used the above recipe only for the pesto–which was yummy!

While Brynne took a shower, Lynn prepped the pizza dough. Mind you, we’d stopped halfway through an episode of Grey’s Anatomy to partake in these competing activities, so tensions were running high. This lead Lynn to look for an easy way to get pizza dough, quick! 

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Quickly making dough, blurry lady!

From a combination of online recipes, she scrounged together that she’d need 2-ish cups of flour, 1-ish tablespoons of yeast, less than a cup of warm-ish water, and maybe some salt and sugar. She experimented a little, then finally had a ball of something to let rise in the oven. While the dough rose, so did the happiness of one Brynne as she spoke to her mom (and the first-ever Dining Ynn subscriber!) on the phone. Lynn, with the help of Brynne’s taste-testing, pesto-d it up with kale, walnuts, garlic, evoo, and lemon juice. “It’s too salty” said Lynn. “It’s pretty lemony” said Brynne. Brynne was right. More kale in the food processor!

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Pesto! Kale Pesto!

At this point, we excitedly took out the eggplant we had bought as a “substitute” vegetable for the zucchini called for in the OG recipe–we’ve been eating a lot of zucc this summer, you should know–but when we cut into the purple demon, we found that it had gone bad! Strike two for Cub Foods!!! [Brynne’s note: I don’t think we can completely blame Cub on this one. I think we just don’t know what a good eggplant looks like??] So with some quick thinking, we pulled out a potato (interestingly enough, the potato we had been planning on using for the GF crust of this pizza pre-spiralizer dilemma) and sliced it up real thin (to the effect of a French Meadow flatbread we had shared some days earlier). We took out some yellow tomatoes and grape tomatoes from the garden #galswithagarden and sliced those up too. Brynne was aiming for a rainbow-inspired ‘za.

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Rainbow!

After the pizza dough had risen and the veggies had been sliced, we rolled out our dough on a lightly greased & floured cookie sheet (#thecookiehouse), spread on some kale pesto, then a layer of veggies, then sprinkled the top with some goat cheese (leftover from our yummy Summer Salad #galswhouseleftovers), a layer of spinach and garden basil, then more cheese. Wow. Spectacular. We had some leftover slices of potato that we threw on the pan and seasoned with rosemary–and then Lynn got excited about spices and put some oregano on top of the pizza for shits & giggles. We baked it at 375 for 20 minutes while we went on the porch to admire some roses!

When it came out of the oven, Lynn brought it out to her porch ladies to inspect/show off, rightly so. It looked like this:

 

After that, we dug in. Big time. Hard core. All out. There were leftover slices of potato in the oven and yeah, we forgot about them! Whatever. Our pizza was delicious.

What happened next? We stayed parked on that porch until Brynne said, “It’s time for something sweet! Cake balls, babies!!!” [She didn’t really say that but that’s what she thought.] These were a last-dinner extravagance we knew we needed, and a good activity for us to divert our minds and stress during our Grey’s Anatomy watching.

We created these by making a cake mix from a Valentine’s day red velvet heart-shaped situation. The dye was very intense. Turned everything pink. Yeesh. Baked it up, cooled it, crumbled it, combined with Deirdre’s secret recipe for delicious frosting. Nice! Next up: cover it in chocolate and sprinkles.

 

The chocolate situation should be noted: Don’t just melt hot chocolate in a microwave. Put some butter in that baby and melt it in a pan, you freak. Just don’t mess with the radiation!! It won’t work!! Drizzle chocolate on top of the cake ball creations and shake sprinkles on top, then pop them into the fridge to cool off!

After chilling for a few hours, they were delicious. The chocolate tasted rich and buttery. The perfect end to a perfect dinner and summer.

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Cheers, ladies.

Brynne’s note: Thank you, Lynn. Thanks for being my co-chef and an inspiration to innovate in the kitchen, among many, many other things. Miss ya much, roomie/friend/love/co-worker/did I mention friend?. Can’t wait to keep blogging and chatting with you “Call Your Girlfriend”-style.

Lynn’s note: Lady B, you are the joy of my world. Thanks for enduring a summer of my bullshit and bringing me along many walking and some pastry-inspired journeys. You’re my favorite face to look at underneath my armpit a la “thread the needle,” and my favorite little bitch (in the feminist sense!).

Brynne Hates Pictionary

This meal is brought to you by:

  • Alex, Lynn’s friend/high school lover who suggested we make this meal.
  • Cub Foods, who had so many BOGO deals that Brynne’s eyes popped out of her head–and then Lynn’s did, too (for free!).
  • Our Garden, which continues to make basil like nobody’s watching!!!

We present: Business-Casual Girl Picks Greens the Size of her Under-Eye Bags and Tries to Grin and Bear It

We get 1% of the profits that these sponsors get every time you think the word “cool!” while reading this post, so shoot up some endorphins (by smiling or hugging a friend!!!!) and massage those readin’ eyes, babies!

This weekend we made Eggplant Pizza!!!

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A super dramatic photo we took that makes them look like 2 round steaks

After a Long Day in the Twin Cities, we were ready to settle down–and by settle down, we mean frantically cook up a tasty meal to serve our guests, the aforementioned Alex and her boyfie Brandon (or Brando, as Lynn’s phone autocorrects it to). Our timer was set: an hour until they got home. Our oven timer was also set: our circles of bare (naked) eggplant had to roast for 15-20 minutes before we could make pizzas out of them!

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Saucy girl! In both senses of the word! 

But when those round slices came out of the oven, you bet your bottom damn dollar that we were ready to top them off. We had: Pizza sauce, made by Lynn at the last minute when we realized the cans of tomato sauce in our pantry were bland and unseasoned #galsonabudget; Basil, picked by Brynne from the ever-growing lil bush in the garden (COOL, RIGHT?); Spinach, snatched out of the fridge when we realized it was going to go bad soon (fun fact: we have 3 separate containers of spinach in our fridge right now! #galswhosplurgeongreens); Grape Tomatoes, purchased as one half of a BOGO sale and sliced in half as part of our cooking procedure; and lastly, Mozzarella freaking Cheese, which is yum, and ALSO a BOGO deal. We were racking up the deals! We’re telling you!

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Assembled with care and occasional hand-swatting

We slapped ’em on like this: SAUCE–CHEESE–SPINACH/BASIL–TOMATOES–EXTRA LAYER OF CHEESE FOR THE MEMZ [Editor’s Note: This layer was added post-photoshoot] and popped ’em in the oven on broil for 7 minutes.

Here’s the thing about 7 minutes–it was too long. When we retreated to the living room to… live, 5 minutes passed before Lynn jumped out of her seat. Something was wrong. The mozz & basil combination we had prepared smelled… too good, too pungent to endure another 2 minutes in the hot, fiery oven [Lynn’s note: What’s up with that word being spelled “fiery” instead of “firey”??]. She ran to the kitchen, Brynne hot on her tail, and they pulled the pan out just in time. The cheese was a little browned (as seen in above picture), but they liked it. Gave off that “Am I a pizza or a slab of meat?” vibe that we’re always after.

Brando and Alex arrived, and we served them under the dramatic lighting at a very small table. Lynn occasionally had to scoot out of the way of a door that opened directly into her left cheekbone [Lynn’s note: My best cheekbone!!]. They ate and were satisfied. So satisfied that Alex and Brandon decided to stay in Northfield for the rest of the summer; they didn’t really go home to Arizona, right? They’re coming back soon so soon so soon 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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Behind the scenes: Brynne dresses the plate, source of light in full view. 

There She Peels Again

Hey!

It’s been a while!

It’s just been too damn hard to face the blog arena and salivate over our delicious pics of food (and ourselves, bc wow summer sweat looks good on us!) while our fridge slowly runs out of the 3 spinach leaves and runny bottom 1/4th of Chobani yogurt that have been sustaining us. These girls need to get to the grocery store–stat.

Pause to pose a q: If I leave the house and tell you that I am going to get groceries, and I come back with a few bags of like notebooks and maybe some medicine and like tampons, but no food, are those still groceries? What makes a grocery-shopping-event different from “going to the store to pick up a few things?” If I got 3 bags of linens and one avocado, did I go grocery shopping?

This week we made “Easy” Sweet Potato & Black Bean Burrito Bowls

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Woah! Busy kitchen! Who are these people?!

Here’s the thing about being #galsonabudget, besides everything we have already confided about it–when you invite yr friends over for dinner, they’re either bringing their own meal (Levi), or yr putting them to work peeling sweet potatoes (Ellie). Luckily, Levi makes a mean quesadilla and Ellie is a PQ (Peeling Queen).

So–Ellie peeled 2 Yamz, which Brynne then chopped up and roasted (after tossing them in extra virgin olive oil [Lynn’s note: s/o to my friend Emma who unironically calls it EVOO, a habit I think she picked up from Food Network], paprika, and chili powder. They roasted for a little bit, and then we pulled ’em out and threw on some bell peppers [Lynn’s note: omg so that’s why we bought those. there was one yellow one and one red one I think!] and roasted again. These babies were getting tender.

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Now That’s What I Call A Burrito Bowl 5!

There were two slight alterations we made to this recipe, apart from adding in a sprinkle of Love– 1) We used regular run-of-the-mill white rice instead of brown basmati rice because we were Hungry and the white rice was already made and we were not about to wait for brown rice to cook! It takes so long!! 2) The recipe calls for a dressing that is essentially spiced mayo? Uh-Uh. No way lady. We just topped this shit off with avocado chunks (not slices) and the last of the aforementioned dwindling spinach leaves.

Update: Brynne’s toes still look beautiful. Will she go professional?

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2 friends enjoying a meal. 1 of them is a robot whose neck can only turn at odd angles. Can you decipher the true friend?

This was a good meal, however rushed it felt because we had to put the peddle to the metal to make it to relaxation yoga on time. We’re aware of the irony of that sentence. Also, we know that the whole farting in yoga thing is a pretty trite/tired/we GET IT joke, but have you ever gone to a very quite room to contort your intestines in wild ways right after scarfing a burrito bowl?

Pfffffft

Anyhow, please wish us well in restocking the fridge–today Lynn’s lunch is a cold plain tortilla with a side of granola crumbs and the salt from the bottom of a Triscuits box.

 

 

“Were they crispy?”

Here we are, back to make a post about food, our enthusiasm fueled by 4 straight hours of watching The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (the running time of which is 137 minutes, but due to some unfortunate [read: really annoying] streaming pauses, we spent most of our day watching/not watching this movie). But honestly, the girl on fire still got us fired up about sharing our love for food. Thanks, Katniss.

Remember when we made taquitos? These were like that, but different. I’m talkin’ crisp shell, black beans, avocado-lovin, mother truckin’ tacos. I’m talkin’, the baddest, the boldest, invite-your-friend-Ellie-over-for-dinner, crispy black bean and carrot tacos. 

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Yaas, carrot and black bean queen. 

You heard us right! We made tacos, but the veggie kind. Bold. Inspiring. Nourishing. Refreshing. The works. (Brynne’s note: I know I say this about every meal, but this one was one of the best.) (Lynn’s note: I thought it would be fun to have my own note, but Brynne is typing this as I’m dictating from another bed, and I wanted to see if it would work. It did.) (Brynne’s note: I’m a good note-taker, I’ll take down her notes!)

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Lynn mischievously slices into an avocado. Yes. 

Follow the recipe, folks, it will get you far. We roasted the carrots (covered with chili powder and cumin) in the oven while Brynne attempted to mash black beans and onion. We didn’t use the poblano pepper that the recipe calls for because we are #galsonabudget, but it was still very tasty.

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Ellie looking slightly amused as she consumes her delicious, deconstructed taco. 

(Lynn’s note: Brynne’s calling it deconstructed, but what she really means is Lynn suggested they use crispy taco shells instead of the soft taco shells she had bought for the occasion, rendering them a little hard to eat, but still delicious.)

(Brynne’s note: What Lynn is calling a crispy taco shell is, in fact, just a circle of taco cornmeal crispy-ness. This doesn’t make for the best taco situation, but it was, indeed, still delicious.)

Eliana Frank says we have “good chemistry.” Do you agree?