Ruby Rose? More like Maura Rosé!

You know what’s deplorable? My genuine inability to remember the difference between Amber Rose and Ruby Rose. Like, up until this moment when I did some internet research (after having a second thought about this title), I thought that Amber Rose was the striking accented beauty that straight white girls would “go gay for” when she appeared in Orange is the New Black. I know–please stop, Lynn. Please get your act together. A quick Google slapped me in the face with the info that Amber Rose is in actuality a 5’9″ American model and actress (you know her from the racist/misogynistic people who don’t want her to be comfortable with her body).

Try to learn from my mistakes and figure this one out on your own. This is all to say that Brynne isn’t the only gal cookin’ up meals after we’ve gone separate ways! Although I was encouraged to make this meal (instead of eating another bowl of Honey Bunches) by my dearest mama, the titular lady Maura. We decided that we were going to have a gals night in consisting of a game of Quiddler (I won), a bottle of pink drink, a homemade dish, and 60 Minutes (Unfortunately, it was a re-run, so we ended up watching an episode of GLOW instead. Maura didn’t love it [Brynne’s note: Does Ellie know????!!!]). For the homemade portion of our evening, we decided to make Curried Lentils with Coconut Milk!

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“I don’t know how it’ll look in a picture, but the taste is good!” -Maura

We started out with the chopping–Maura chopped an onion because of my sensitive eyes, and I used a fancy mincing tool to mince 2 cloves of garlic (note that my fingers still ended up smelling like garlic) and a tablespoon of fresh ginger. We then used a fancy crock pot (thanks, mom!) to sizzle these babies around with some spices–turmeric, coriander, and cumin–for ten minutes until the spices “were very aromatic.” I will note here that I obviously did not set a timer for ten minutes, as is my way, and when my mom asked how long we should let our spices & veggies simmer, she was incredibly disappointed in my Oscar-like behavior. But guess what? This girl’s nose twitched up a storm and she knew when it was time to add the lentils, etc!

The recipe calls for split red lentils, but we only had brown lentils (#galsonabudget), so we used those in combination with a carton of coconut milk (poured in, then filled with water to be poured in) and 1 tsp of salt because Maura had already put in a tsp salt earlier. That’s just the way she does things. Then we turned the heat to high and waited for that baby to boil, boil, toil, and trouble, bitches! When it did, we noticed that there was like a lot of liquid in there, but not to worry! The recipe assured us that it would cook down. Duh. 20 minutes, some stirring, and 1 game of Quiddler later, we were ready to slather our lentils on top of some rice (we used brown, but jasmine would’ve been better), pop a store-bought piece of naan in the toaster (sacrilegious behavior), and enjoy our ladies meal and wrestling (not really) show!

We loved it! Maura suggested that because we used brown lentils, they were a little tougher and needed a bit longer to cook, but we thought it was fun that they gave a little crunch. We also decided that next time, we would include another veggie, like a carrot or cauliflower. It was so yum though–and I’m not just saying that because in the moment I was high on the glory of my card game win! I just had another bowl for lunch and it was still delicious and ginger-y! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see how Brynne’s going to top this one!

Brynne’s note: Jus

Goodbye Tour USA

Have you read Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood? Because wow, the Lynn and Brynne from our first post about intercoursing squirrels have essentially transported through time to get to this moment, our final meal crafted together (for the time being). I’m now having second thoughts about this time thread being from Cat’s Eye. Shoot. You know what we’re talking about though, right? It’s like all the time in between didn’t even exist–all we have to remember it by are pictures of our dumb faces shoveling malts and certain intense associations with the song “Ticket to Ride” by The Beatles.

 

We had a ticket to ride on Wednesday night. A ticket to ride all the way to Italy with our Kale Pesto Pizza. [Brynne’s note: insert a 5 second pause before saying the following] Beep beep beep beep, nuh-yeah! If you follow that hyperlink (does anyone? you all are basing your summer meal plans off of ours like in Julie & Julia, right?), you’ll note that this particular meal is advertised as being vegan and gluten free. Would’ve been a super interesting recipe to make, but these ladies don’t own a vegetable spiralizer (and couldn’t find one at Cub [Lynn’s note: @brynnec my local grocer, Fry’s Food & Drug, would definitely carry vegetable spiralizers, so what do you think of your precious Cub now? You still love it? Oh, okay.]) and didn’t want to spend money anyway #galsonabudget, so we instead made this a non-vegan, gluten-full pizza and used the above recipe only for the pesto–which was yummy!

While Brynne took a shower, Lynn prepped the pizza dough. Mind you, we’d stopped halfway through an episode of Grey’s Anatomy to partake in these competing activities, so tensions were running high. This lead Lynn to look for an easy way to get pizza dough, quick! 

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Quickly making dough, blurry lady!

From a combination of online recipes, she scrounged together that she’d need 2-ish cups of flour, 1-ish tablespoons of yeast, less than a cup of warm-ish water, and maybe some salt and sugar. She experimented a little, then finally had a ball of something to let rise in the oven. While the dough rose, so did the happiness of one Brynne as she spoke to her mom (and the first-ever Dining Ynn subscriber!) on the phone. Lynn, with the help of Brynne’s taste-testing, pesto-d it up with kale, walnuts, garlic, evoo, and lemon juice. “It’s too salty” said Lynn. “It’s pretty lemony” said Brynne. Brynne was right. More kale in the food processor!

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Pesto! Kale Pesto!

At this point, we excitedly took out the eggplant we had bought as a “substitute” vegetable for the zucchini called for in the OG recipe–we’ve been eating a lot of zucc this summer, you should know–but when we cut into the purple demon, we found that it had gone bad! Strike two for Cub Foods!!! [Brynne’s note: I don’t think we can completely blame Cub on this one. I think we just don’t know what a good eggplant looks like??] So with some quick thinking, we pulled out a potato (interestingly enough, the potato we had been planning on using for the GF crust of this pizza pre-spiralizer dilemma) and sliced it up real thin (to the effect of a French Meadow flatbread we had shared some days earlier). We took out some yellow tomatoes and grape tomatoes from the garden #galswithagarden and sliced those up too. Brynne was aiming for a rainbow-inspired ‘za.

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Rainbow!

After the pizza dough had risen and the veggies had been sliced, we rolled out our dough on a lightly greased & floured cookie sheet (#thecookiehouse), spread on some kale pesto, then a layer of veggies, then sprinkled the top with some goat cheese (leftover from our yummy Summer Salad #galswhouseleftovers), a layer of spinach and garden basil, then more cheese. Wow. Spectacular. We had some leftover slices of potato that we threw on the pan and seasoned with rosemary–and then Lynn got excited about spices and put some oregano on top of the pizza for shits & giggles. We baked it at 375 for 20 minutes while we went on the porch to admire some roses!

When it came out of the oven, Lynn brought it out to her porch ladies to inspect/show off, rightly so. It looked like this:

 

After that, we dug in. Big time. Hard core. All out. There were leftover slices of potato in the oven and yeah, we forgot about them! Whatever. Our pizza was delicious.

What happened next? We stayed parked on that porch until Brynne said, “It’s time for something sweet! Cake balls, babies!!!” [She didn’t really say that but that’s what she thought.] These were a last-dinner extravagance we knew we needed, and a good activity for us to divert our minds and stress during our Grey’s Anatomy watching.

We created these by making a cake mix from a Valentine’s day red velvet heart-shaped situation. The dye was very intense. Turned everything pink. Yeesh. Baked it up, cooled it, crumbled it, combined with Deirdre’s secret recipe for delicious frosting. Nice! Next up: cover it in chocolate and sprinkles.

 

The chocolate situation should be noted: Don’t just melt hot chocolate in a microwave. Put some butter in that baby and melt it in a pan, you freak. Just don’t mess with the radiation!! It won’t work!! Drizzle chocolate on top of the cake ball creations and shake sprinkles on top, then pop them into the fridge to cool off!

After chilling for a few hours, they were delicious. The chocolate tasted rich and buttery. The perfect end to a perfect dinner and summer.

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Cheers, ladies.

Brynne’s note: Thank you, Lynn. Thanks for being my co-chef and an inspiration to innovate in the kitchen, among many, many other things. Miss ya much, roomie/friend/love/co-worker/did I mention friend?. Can’t wait to keep blogging and chatting with you “Call Your Girlfriend”-style.

Lynn’s note: Lady B, you are the joy of my world. Thanks for enduring a summer of my bullshit and bringing me along many walking and some pastry-inspired journeys. You’re my favorite face to look at underneath my armpit a la “thread the needle,” and my favorite little bitch (in the feminist sense!).

The Forgotten Apple

Once upon a time there were three young women. There names were Lynn, Brynne, and Ellie. They hadn’t seen each other in a whole week!!!!! Which is Too Long. Emphasis.

On a Sunday afternoon, Lynn and Brynne came home to find Ellie in their room and they squealed with delight, unloaded the groceries they bought at Cub, and swapped stories of the weeks they’d had. Drama, gasps, and laughter ensued.

They spent most of the afternoon in this way, until the clock struck 6:00pm. That’s dinner time, ladies. We got cracking. On deck: leftovers plus a brand new friend we’d like to call Fruity Spinach Goat Cheese Salad.

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That’s a summer salad if I’ve ever seen one.

The leftovers included pad thai from a week and a day ago that Brynne felt obligated to eat because #wastenotwantnot was the lesson she learned from her favorite American Girl Doll, Kitt Kitterdge. Brynne and Kitt looked a lot alike when Brynne was a young girl with a bob-style haircut and dreamt about making dresses out of old flower-patterned flour sacks in the Depression era.

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Ugh! The hair! That sweater! 
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Brynne takes a lesson from Kit and wastes not, wants not.

Lynn and Ellie dug into the pasta and veg meatball creation from the night before (see previous post, duh!) and Brynne had a little on the side as well.

The real star of the show was our spinach and berry salad. Easy enough to assemble: bed of spinach greens, chop some strawberries and lay those on, add blueberries (aka bluebs aka boobs), garnish with some walnuts and GOAT CHEESE!!!!!! Lynn and Brynne had gone all summer without eating goat cheese until this point, and I wonder, how the heck did we manage to do that??? Goat cheese is so important to me. The recipe called for feta but I’m glad I could redirect our attentions to this most valuable cheese. We also skipped the red onion because that’s unnecessary and would ruin this salad. [Lynn’s note: I really like red onion. Brynne was like “we could do it without” and I cringed and said “okay.”]

Lynn did the real work here by assembling the dressing for this salad. Yeah, we used a food processor to make this baby. No, we don’t have a blender, so don’t ask for one! Follow the recipe for this dressing and you will be pleasantly surprised, but it won’t be what we made. Bc we are #galsonabudget, Lynn blended up strawberries, balsamic vinegar, garlic powder (instead of real garlic), and, yeah, that’s it. It was delicious.

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Good innovation, Lynn! 

Cut to: The ladies have parted ways and are in separate locations. Brynne receives a text message from Lynn that says “WE FORGOT TO ADD THE APPLE.” Brynne chuckles and puts her phone down. She thought the salad was great without the apple. [Lynn’s note: And the red onion, apparently.]

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Us @ red onion: bye! 

Back to this: Don’t ever underestimate the power of spinach, goat cheese, and strawberries. Thank you, BuzzFeed, for inspiring Lynn to make this salad. It really was a refreshing summer salad that left us feeling so good. To top it all off, Ellie brought some TJ’s (Trader Joe’s) Italian breadsticks. I’m sorry, it’s actually Trader Giotto’s. My bad. Thanks, Beth, for treating Ellie to a TJ’s run! Does Beth read our blog, do we think? Does her son? He should. He’ll be friends with Brynne soon enough–and she sounds like fun! [Brynne’s note: Lynn wrote the above sentences. Brynne’s face :/ ] These breadsticks made all of our salad and crunchy bread dreams come true. (I started to sing Hall & Oates “You Make My Dreams (Come True)” and now we are bopping our heads along to the beat in the kitchen. Good bop.)

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the HEIGHT of fine dining!! Breadsticks!! 
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The face of fine dining. 

Stir Fly on the Wall

Are you ever writing a short phrase–for something as important as the title of a blog that 10 people will read (5 of them being your mom)–and get to thinking about capitalization? I mean, as far as prepositions and articles go, those poor souls don’t get capitalized… unless they’re at the beginning of the phrase. Which doesn’t make sense–because that’s not a sentence! You can’t just pick and choose which normal conventions of grammar you get to apply–have you ever seen a proper sentence in which every single word (apart from the prepz and articz, ugh) is capitalized? That’s too many proper nouns, Lady!

Sometimes, words look better capitalized–and isn’t the aesthetic appeal of a phrase more important than the “rules” of grammar? Lynn Truss, my namesake and grammar aficionado, would disagree and write a scathing review of this idea–and my overuse of the dash.

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this Is The book she Wrote;

[Brynne’s note: that caption for the image above HURTS me]

I used to be really into this book and grammar, but then I realized that Grammar is a tool of The Man and the concept of “proper” English & language in general is dumb and also racist. Haven’t re-read this baby in a while but it would probably make my face do the thing. disgust.png

It’s not that I’m advocating for random capitalization of Letters, like some mAniC chIXiE PeeN GirL from a J. Green novel (u know the one I’m talking about. Nat Wolf starred opposite her in the movie), but I was just feeling anguish about the title of this post–and not because I’ve been singing Miley Cyrus nonstop since I typed it.

Before we split ways for our different Food Pathways, these ladies went shopping and picked up some goods for our Vegan Pad Thai–and we hope you’re expecting what’s coming next (maybe with the above look on your face)–this recipe was put together by another white lady. Her name is Cassie. Read the following description of ingredients and hear the words “pad thai” accordingly.

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a pretty pic brynne took of the thing we made

Here’s the story: Lynn (not Truss, unfortunately, though maybe this work would be good for her) got started slicing zucchini into long strands (we were supposed to “spiralize” them, but that sounded silly and we didn’t have a spiralizer #galsonabudget) [Brynne’s note: I oh-so badly want a spiralizer!!!!!] while Brynne began chopping some small broccoli florets [Lynn’s note: I luv that word]. Then, in a panic because they hadn’t quite started the way they were supposed to, they squeezed some liquids out of their Extra Firm tofu, cut it into some triangles, and began browning it in a pan. Lynn also got their rice noodles a’cookin (Brynne said “No instructions on how to cook them? Ahh!”–classic Oscar. Or Felix. Still haven’t looked up who is who in The Odd Couple), stirring occasionally.

They then threw all the veggies (did we mention 2 bb red peppers?) into a pan to fry. It should be noted that their pan was pitifully small, and Brynne would later get a new, larger instrument (a wok, actually) to dump everything in. Thanks, Brynne! As Brynne added garlic to the wok, Lynn mixed up the sauce–a classic pad thai combo of tomato paste (ketchup essentially), soy sauce, garlic powder (she couldn’t find it and Brynne again came to the rescue), rice vinegar, and probably some other stuff, look it up ya’selves.

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Caution: Melonhead stirring

Then it was time for the big combo–the very reason we needed a wok in the first place–the two protagonists of this post and blog entity put the tofu and rice noodles (cooked to timeless perfection, I might add) right in with the SF (stir fry) veggies! After a bit of swishing this way in that, we topped it off with that sauce and were ready to chow (not chow mein, though, because that is a different dish)!

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Brynne made up these two bowls by delicately topping them with sesame seeds, cilantro, and peanuts*

*note: we used honey-roasted because when we were at the store, Lynn practically begged Brynne to get them because they are so tasty and nostalgic. [Brynne’s note: I was into it. Love me some honey-roasted peanuts]

This dish has raised Brynne’s vegetarian bar up to 98% vegetarian, just in case you were curious. Tofu is scary in block form but delicious in pad thai form.

Brynne Hates Pictionary

This meal is brought to you by:

  • Alex, Lynn’s friend/high school lover who suggested we make this meal.
  • Cub Foods, who had so many BOGO deals that Brynne’s eyes popped out of her head–and then Lynn’s did, too (for free!).
  • Our Garden, which continues to make basil like nobody’s watching!!!

We present: Business-Casual Girl Picks Greens the Size of her Under-Eye Bags and Tries to Grin and Bear It

We get 1% of the profits that these sponsors get every time you think the word “cool!” while reading this post, so shoot up some endorphins (by smiling or hugging a friend!!!!) and massage those readin’ eyes, babies!

This weekend we made Eggplant Pizza!!!

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A super dramatic photo we took that makes them look like 2 round steaks

After a Long Day in the Twin Cities, we were ready to settle down–and by settle down, we mean frantically cook up a tasty meal to serve our guests, the aforementioned Alex and her boyfie Brandon (or Brando, as Lynn’s phone autocorrects it to). Our timer was set: an hour until they got home. Our oven timer was also set: our circles of bare (naked) eggplant had to roast for 15-20 minutes before we could make pizzas out of them!

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Saucy girl! In both senses of the word! 

But when those round slices came out of the oven, you bet your bottom damn dollar that we were ready to top them off. We had: Pizza sauce, made by Lynn at the last minute when we realized the cans of tomato sauce in our pantry were bland and unseasoned #galsonabudget; Basil, picked by Brynne from the ever-growing lil bush in the garden (COOL, RIGHT?); Spinach, snatched out of the fridge when we realized it was going to go bad soon (fun fact: we have 3 separate containers of spinach in our fridge right now! #galswhosplurgeongreens); Grape Tomatoes, purchased as one half of a BOGO sale and sliced in half as part of our cooking procedure; and lastly, Mozzarella freaking Cheese, which is yum, and ALSO a BOGO deal. We were racking up the deals! We’re telling you!

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Assembled with care and occasional hand-swatting

We slapped ’em on like this: SAUCE–CHEESE–SPINACH/BASIL–TOMATOES–EXTRA LAYER OF CHEESE FOR THE MEMZ [Editor’s Note: This layer was added post-photoshoot] and popped ’em in the oven on broil for 7 minutes.

Here’s the thing about 7 minutes–it was too long. When we retreated to the living room to… live, 5 minutes passed before Lynn jumped out of her seat. Something was wrong. The mozz & basil combination we had prepared smelled… too good, too pungent to endure another 2 minutes in the hot, fiery oven [Lynn’s note: What’s up with that word being spelled “fiery” instead of “firey”??]. She ran to the kitchen, Brynne hot on her tail, and they pulled the pan out just in time. The cheese was a little browned (as seen in above picture), but they liked it. Gave off that “Am I a pizza or a slab of meat?” vibe that we’re always after.

Brando and Alex arrived, and we served them under the dramatic lighting at a very small table. Lynn occasionally had to scoot out of the way of a door that opened directly into her left cheekbone [Lynn’s note: My best cheekbone!!]. They ate and were satisfied. So satisfied that Alex and Brandon decided to stay in Northfield for the rest of the summer; they didn’t really go home to Arizona, right? They’re coming back soon so soon so soon 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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Behind the scenes: Brynne dresses the plate, source of light in full view. 

Wanna Go for a Leisurely Chop?

hi hows it going we’re fine. let’s dive in.

Here’s the thing–we made curry today, and we got the recipe off the internet from a website called Budget Bytes run by a woman named Beth.

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Beth 

She’s white. And here’s the other thing, guys, in our first post, we made taquitos, and we got the recipe off the internet from a site called Cinnamon Spice & Everything Nice run by a woman named Reeni who is probably also white. And like we are taking these recipes that are not traditionally white dishes (is anything? no!) and making them with like a white lady’s take on them which is icky, and then we (2 white ladies) are posting on this blog about them. And we called the sweet potato black bean things taquitos, and we called this dish curry.

And I don’t know! Just keep that on your mind as we dive in (part II; this pool’s got a deep end) & let us know what you think about co-opting food culture, and about our reproduction of that co-opting.

The food we made is called Coconut Vegetable Curry.

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3 girls/3 bowls/30 bowel movements

This recipe took a lot of collecting. In fact, 3 separate trips to 3 separate stores (Trader Joe’s was one of them & Lynn is heartbroken that she couldn’t be there, but thankful for Deirdre and Brynne for being there) were required before we were stocked, rattled, and ready to stir these babies up. Do you feel like we return to the same sentence structure using “stir these babies/bad boys/suckers up” too much? It’s too much fun. Food can’t be bad boys! That’s silly!

Do you remember how much Ellie likes to peel/zest? We put her right to it again–and Brynne, too! These ladies PEELed up everything Lynn put in their way–carrots, ginger (fresh, baby)–while Lynn messed up the garlic by sautéing it for far too long in olive oil. [Lynn’s note: My hands still smell like garlic. I’ve tried rubbing them in toothpaste, nail polish remover, and St. Ives Cucumber Water & Melon body lotion, and nothing has worked. I am in hell.] Next, Brynne sacrificed her eyes and chopped an onion (sans sunglasses!) and we threw it in with the garlic, along with the carrots, curry powder, and ging-ah. [Brynne’s note: I’m having a rough day with my eyes–my contact lens ripped during yoga class and nothing’s been the same since, so this onion chopping had a particularly powerful effect. It stung.]

AND THEN WE PUT IN SO MUCH BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER THAT WE HAD TO SWITCH OUT OUR FRYING PAN FOR THE BIGGEST FRYING PAN YOU’VE EVER SEEN, baby! Perhaps the difference in size is not quite noticeable from the above tiled photos–but if we had put a human baby’s head in the photo, you’d be able to map that distance.

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Notice how you could draw a perfectly straight line between the tip of Lynn’s ear and that of her nose.

Something that Lynn didn’t tell Brynne is that this recipe called for tomato paste, but these gals only had tomato sauce, so Lynn did some secretive improvisational cooking & put the tomato sauce on a pan to cook out some of that thin juice! Did it work? A little bit. Brynne didn’t notice, anyhow. [Brynne’s note: I was wondering where Lynn got this tomato paste from. I need recipes to be followed!!!! I’m thankful she kept me in the dark on this decision.] When that was thickened up, we added it (a lot more than the recipe said to account for our mounds of brocc & caul) along with half a can of diced tomatoes (#galsonabudgetdonthaveafullcan).

TJ saves the day: our last addition (well, third-to-last) was 1 can of Trader Joes coconut milk–reduced fat. mmmm. We poured it over, reduced our heat to a simmer. 5-7 minutes later (Lynn wasn’t counting!) we added 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp sugar. 1 full tsp of good. Actually, if you mixed together salt and sugar and ate it straight that’d be nasty.

Serve on a warm bed of rice. Preferably rice that’s been sitting in the fridge for a week so you don’t have to make rice on top of this already multi-step meal. Dig in.

There She Peels Again

Hey!

It’s been a while!

It’s just been too damn hard to face the blog arena and salivate over our delicious pics of food (and ourselves, bc wow summer sweat looks good on us!) while our fridge slowly runs out of the 3 spinach leaves and runny bottom 1/4th of Chobani yogurt that have been sustaining us. These girls need to get to the grocery store–stat.

Pause to pose a q: If I leave the house and tell you that I am going to get groceries, and I come back with a few bags of like notebooks and maybe some medicine and like tampons, but no food, are those still groceries? What makes a grocery-shopping-event different from “going to the store to pick up a few things?” If I got 3 bags of linens and one avocado, did I go grocery shopping?

This week we made “Easy” Sweet Potato & Black Bean Burrito Bowls

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Woah! Busy kitchen! Who are these people?!

Here’s the thing about being #galsonabudget, besides everything we have already confided about it–when you invite yr friends over for dinner, they’re either bringing their own meal (Levi), or yr putting them to work peeling sweet potatoes (Ellie). Luckily, Levi makes a mean quesadilla and Ellie is a PQ (Peeling Queen).

So–Ellie peeled 2 Yamz, which Brynne then chopped up and roasted (after tossing them in extra virgin olive oil [Lynn’s note: s/o to my friend Emma who unironically calls it EVOO, a habit I think she picked up from Food Network], paprika, and chili powder. They roasted for a little bit, and then we pulled ’em out and threw on some bell peppers [Lynn’s note: omg so that’s why we bought those. there was one yellow one and one red one I think!] and roasted again. These babies were getting tender.

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Now That’s What I Call A Burrito Bowl 5!

There were two slight alterations we made to this recipe, apart from adding in a sprinkle of Love– 1) We used regular run-of-the-mill white rice instead of brown basmati rice because we were Hungry and the white rice was already made and we were not about to wait for brown rice to cook! It takes so long!! 2) The recipe calls for a dressing that is essentially spiced mayo? Uh-Uh. No way lady. We just topped this shit off with avocado chunks (not slices) and the last of the aforementioned dwindling spinach leaves.

Update: Brynne’s toes still look beautiful. Will she go professional?

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2 friends enjoying a meal. 1 of them is a robot whose neck can only turn at odd angles. Can you decipher the true friend?

This was a good meal, however rushed it felt because we had to put the peddle to the metal to make it to relaxation yoga on time. We’re aware of the irony of that sentence. Also, we know that the whole farting in yoga thing is a pretty trite/tired/we GET IT joke, but have you ever gone to a very quite room to contort your intestines in wild ways right after scarfing a burrito bowl?

Pfffffft

Anyhow, please wish us well in restocking the fridge–today Lynn’s lunch is a cold plain tortilla with a side of granola crumbs and the salt from the bottom of a Triscuits box.

 

 

Wanna-be Spice Girls

This spice bowl

The talk of the town

(specifically, our town. specifically, our house. specifically, between us because we were so excited to make these bowls)

Bowls? This fad? Overrated? I don’t know if you can say that, because people have literally always made things and layered them in bowls, it’s just that at some point, instead of calling it “tofu and vegetables,” someone messed up and included the dish ware in which they stored this meal– “oh this? just a spicy veggie bowl. damnit,” and it caught on.

Which led us to create the Spicy Cauliflower Power Bowl!

These aren’t just any old bowls, friends. And we didn’t even completely follow the recipe. Zoinks! (Alternative to Zoinks is #galsonabudget.) They’re packed with newly roasted sesame chickpeas (remember when Brynne messed up the chickpeas? Roasting them like this saved them [Lynn’s note: They were so fking good, I took a bowl of them with me to a coffee shop & rudely ate them using their silverware!]), avocado, spiced up cauliflower and onion. The goodness is all topped with arugula (we love it) and cradled by a bed of quinoa. All the good stuff! We didn’t have any siracha, so we didn’t add it and can’t speak to what the recipe would be like with siracha included [Lynn’s note: my guess is that it would be pretty darn good. Brynne can’t give a note because she just left to go shower, but I think she’d agree]. Sorry!

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Bold. Powerful. Strong. Apathetic?

After consuming these bowls, we felt powerful. Strong. Well nourished. A bit parched. But strong all the same. Would highly recommend this dish. Make sure you have an avocado on hand.

The only baked goods ’round these parts are the two ladies writing this blog post

Just kidding. If there’s one thing we have been for the past few weeks, it’s stone-cold sober. You have to be on your toes when you’re prepping meals like these! And Dacie Moses is sub-free, after all. We are not about to disappoint the ghost of Candace (did you know that’s her full name? stay tuned for more Dacie’s gems maybe if we think of them).

So we’ve done a lot of dinner posts, but isn’t Dacie Moses the cookie house (gem #2)??!! Yes! We have been baking up a storm as well as cooking them up! In this post, we’ll cover not one but TWO baked goods that we baked together for this past Sunday’s brunch.

Savory Monkey Bread

 

 

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Brynne mixes business with pleasure

Most common complaint about Dacie’s Brunch: “There’s nothing savory!!!” (gem #3). But we blew that complaint out of the way with this delicious pull-apart bread. We started off with some classic storebought biscuit dough (the Pilsbury kind, obvi), and chopped all the biscuits up into four parts each. Once that’s done, prepare your toppings. This isn’t a cinnamon and sugar affair, no sir, we need savory. We’re talking: poppy seeds, cheddar cheese, parmesan, oregano, rosemary, & thyme (purposefully did not include parsley or sage because we have been listening to TOO MUCH Simon & Garfunkel to listen to your nonsense references). Whatever you want to roll a small ball of dough in. Roll each dough ball in melted butter and chopped garlic, then pick a topping, roll it on up, and then plop them in the tin!

Pop your well-greased monkey bread tin (what is the actual name of the shape of that tin? must look up) [Lynn’s note: It’s a Bundt Cake Tin, get with the program pls] at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

 

 

Boom. Savory monkey bread.

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Here it is!!! When we flipped it over some of the balls of dough stuck to the pan, but that just meant that we got to eat them.

Lemon Poppy Seed Bread

Nothing will ever be better than this bread. Moist and crumbly (like my ambition!), this bread will make you smile.

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Batter so, so good. Look @ that mess though!

The only thing it could have used was maybe the zest of one more lemon. The recipe calls for three, but we used two because we are #galsonabudget even for #brunch. Follow the recipe and you will live out your lemony, poppy-seed dreams. These two baked goods were a highlight of our savory brunch this past week. Next up: Waffle Brunch. Stay tuned.

 

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Our recipe made a mama bread and a baby bread. “baby breads are like a little miracle!”-Lynn Barbera, June 2017